we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
