that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
