wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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