Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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