I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
