do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
