Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
