i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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