ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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