Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Everything about him screamed your future.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
