stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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