I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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