I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
