He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
