What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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