DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize