that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's always time for handjobs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
