She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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