I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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