i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
