I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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