Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
