My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
two words...techno handjob
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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