is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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