I cannot find my penis.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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