and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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