I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Come share oat with me in your robe
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
