he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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