Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize