found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize