You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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