so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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