So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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