Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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