none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
