omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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