His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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