i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
