for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
