he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
