My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
