She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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