Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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