How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
