I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
