i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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