my soul wont recognize me after tonight
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
