i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
