thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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