Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
