Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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