how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
