Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
