it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
