if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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