And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
