sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
