We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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