I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
