We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
