i think i have two assholes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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